Friday, July 31, 2009
ok i'm done
super junior helps alot
shall start searching more..
yee wei, you know what?
ur the best!! (^.^)
kudos to you and mr y...
lets get married at 42 k??
♥ alexis at 3:04 AM
saw something that i shouldn't
it's making my heart ache again
i'm having the doubts of life
i should let go
it's a MUST
♥ alexis at 1:07 AM
Thursday, July 30, 2009
the way we live life
is full of pretense
no one can understand the loneliness
the feelings undercover
everything is judged by its cover
no one can understand
the pain each person feels
the real person underneath
the real me..
no one can understand
what others are thinking
what they want
what they need
what they expect from people
no one can understand
the love we felt for people
the way we want things to turn out
the hopes we put on things
the feeling of satisfaction and happiness
no one can understand...
♥ alexis at 12:34 PM
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
i don't feel good
really really don't feel good
history is repeating itself
i hate it
really really hate it
♥ alexis at 4:26 PM
lost the strength of life...
feel like giving up...
♥ alexis at 2:11 PM
Let's Not...Saying that this moment is the lastTo you whom I loved so muchEven if you try to turn it backEven if you hold onto me cryingI was the one who said no and bid our farewellI always act strongBut I'm a cowardly man who didn't have the confidence to protect you forever and leftChorusDon't love someone like me againDon't miss someone like me againOne who looks at only you and needs only youMeet someone who loves you very muchThat they can't live a day without youPlease..Hurting, you try to hold me backBut I'm a cowardly man who doesn't have the confidence to give anyone happiness besides herRepeat chorusEven if we are ever to regret our breakupI can't give you anything but to give you our farewellDon't cry in pain counting the time that has passedDon't miss a foolish love that has already passedOne who looks at you and needs only youMeet someone who loves you very much That they can't live a day without youPlease, I hope you'll be happyLet's never meet again...
is that what you're trying to tell me?
well, it's easier to be said than done...
♥ alexis at 12:34 AM
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
now it's result time
but you know what?
i don't care
went for buffet today
you can't blame me
i don't know how to play it in the first place
got bullied by both Mr JK and Ms ML
given one month break from today onwards
but i do not have any plans
guess it's gonna be another boring one...
i still remembered the plans we made
but it ended..
will i be able to go through this break happily?
or will i......
thought i could have maybe a final look at him before i leave today
guess we are better off as friends
♥ alexis at 7:11 PM
in fact, today's the last day
no longer can see you anymore
is it a good thing?
today's the last day of finals
hmmm not really that confident
no more HDs for me
what should i do?
who can i have fun with?
feel so lazy, tired,guilty and empty
i still can't get use to life without you
feels too empty
guess i have to overcome it..
♥ alexis at 1:27 AM
Sunday, July 26, 2009
really really tired
what are you trying to do to me?
who am i to you?
someone that you can play with?
please think again
before i start hating you
♥ alexis at 1:47 AM
Friday, July 24, 2009
I'm starting to miss you again....
oh god...what am i thinking again?
♥ alexis at 3:59 PM
Thursday, July 23, 2009
suddenly i feel the pain of everyone
people going through what i've been through
people experiencing the pain that i've once had
people making stupid decisions
people falling in love without realising
people facing the dilemmas of life..
all i could do is to be there for them
listen to them
feel their pain
how i wish i can be the one experiencing those feelings..
i know i'm being stupid
but sometimes, it just hurts seeing someone else going through the same pain
life is hard
nothing comes easy
but all i could do is be there for them..
yet i can't help at all..
feel so hopeless..
but i guess life is all about learning
to those who're in pain out there:
share with me
at least you have someone to listen to you
to guide you
to feel your pain
and NO it's not bothering at all
so don't worry
everything will be fine as long as you allow it to
keep your faith of life
appreciate what you have
keep the memories alive
♥ alexis at 5:07 PM
It was all a dream
I never thought I would wake up someday
But I did...
I have to face the reality
What do you expect me to say?
Bearing the pain..
But it was all a dream
It had to end
Time was precious to us
But we did not have it..
Everything was fine after the storm...
Hush, I told myself
Hush, everything will be fine
Hush, time will tell..
Let it all be a dream, a nightmare
Let be unreal
Let it be a dream
Just a dream
It was all a bad dream
A bittersweet memory..
It's just a dream....
♥ alexis at 3:56 PM
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Finding you among the crowds
Lost in my thoughts
Where are you?
I ignored that, going on with my usual
What are you thinking?
What am I thinking?
What have we done to reach this state of mind?
You, living up your life like the usual
Me, living up a life that I can barely recognize
Why, you know your mistakes
What have I done to deserve this hurt?
Me, living a life like an actress
Full of pretense...
Happy, yet when I'm not
You know that too...right?
I doubt so...
I told myself I'll wait
Wait for you to be more mature
But, why am I feeling the hurt again and again?
I hate you, I really really hate you
Giving me this misery
Turning my life upside down
This, being the most regretful decision
I've ever make in my life
Please, disappear forever....
p/s: I do enjoy your company and friendship. I do appreciate it but sometimes, I wish you could really disappear..I'm sorry.... -havingthestressoflife-
To my dear friend: sorry for snapping at you today..doubt you'll be reading this anyway as you've forgotten my url...
Wishing I could enjoy life like this.....
♥ alexis at 5:17 PM
Friday, July 17, 2009
t'was a good day today..started off to college as a nerdcame back home earlywent onlinesleptthen went for the man utd training with my gf and friendsaw a seniorsaw Mr D and Mr D, Miss J but not Mr Jwas pretty much hyper and excitedthen suddenly everything is blown off meis it 'cause of Mr D?i don't know but i was pretty sure that i wasn't the only one that's not in a moodmy gf was pretty down too due to her studiesseems like everyone have their moments too...just different reasons...talked and smsed Mr DJhe cheered me up but not Mr JKbut then again, cause of the scandalsi'm a bit hesitant to talk to Mr JKi've got us into enough troubles..thanks to my best friend, she also cheered me up..well not exactly...but she listensand i realised,chocolate and ice cream can really cheer a person uptho i was down and so does my gfi treated both of us ice cream and voila!well at least we're not that down anymore..it was a fun day...a happy daybut as usual it always end with a tiring day...so well, my gf and i were pretty tired when we came backbefore i went back home, met Mr DJ for a whilenothing much just that i screamed after i saw a cockroach...then reached home, parents fought...great...so went over to my gf's house to do assignment and study...good..at least i'm being a nerd nowmaybe it can get my mind of things for awhile?i hope so...exam's in a week time and i haven't start anything yetwell good luck to me then..*found her fav thing: chocolate...
♥ alexis at 11:58 PM
Thursday, July 16, 2009
was given the biggest opportunity in life
it'll determine my future
well not exactly but it'll open a new pathway for me
i'm not exactly confident that i can do it as i'm still new
but i'll make sure that it'll turn out well
sadly, i turned it down
hopefully i will not regret it...
right now i'm leading life positively,
focusing on important things
life seems boring but at least i'm stable at the moment
no more troubles for me
no more graves to dig
though i wouldn't promise that i won't dig anymore
but i'll try to restrain myself...
cause life is too stable
i'm stoning once again,
unable to grasp the reality
life is.....love is...
i don't know
i can't feel, can't find
floating everywhere yet part of me still touches the ground...
keep it up girl...
you know you can do it...
♥ alexis at 2:44 PM
been behaving very good this week
but life is just soo boring
guess it takes time to adjust
but if i do get hyper
then i'll be digging graves again
what should i do?
answer: concentrate on exam...
♥ alexis at 12:09 AM
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
i thought i saw the glow in your eyesbut now i don't see it anymorewhat happened?have you really gave up?or maybe it's just mei'm tiredi no longer know how to feeli can't feel...i've lost my shine, my glowi've caused enough troublesthink all you like about mebut i am who i amdon't you dare to think that you know meyou don't know mei'm a complicated personnothing is simple in my lifethis is just the way i like..full of the unexpected...love me..if you dare...
♥ alexis at 1:34 PM
Monday, July 13, 2009
so many things to do, yet so lil time...
i'm busy and yet, there's nothing to do at all...
maybe i'm just procrastinating?
life is just soo hard...
how is it that we have to make a firm decision yet at the same time, have to take care of others feelings too?
is it possible that we could make the right decision without hurting anyone?
is it possible to make the right decision based on others feelings and thoughts?
is it possible to lead people with our own decision?
how can i make the right decision with minimum consequences?
i thought i know how..but now, i dunno...
quite lost....guessed i have to start all over again..
should stop thinking complicatedly and concentrate on what's in front...
♥ alexis at 7:08 PM
Saturday, July 11, 2009
i need a break...
done the wrong thing
got myself all wrecked up
made the wrong decision..
no more fooling around
time to be serious once again...
♥ alexis at 9:41 PM
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Uranus
Symbol: The Water Bearer
Your stone: Amethyst
Life Pursuit: To understand life's mysteries Description:Special note for Aquarians: With the new Millennium heralding the Dawn of the Age of Aquarius, at this time, ready or not, your sign is regarded as the zodiac's leader. You are the trendsetter for the future and because of this high responsibility, many under born your sign will be undergoing at this time, as we approach the Millennium, the pressure of personal change (particularly in your values and what makes you content and happy). Yours has always been a philanthropic sign. Now more than ever these qualities will be highlighted.Those born under the sign of Aquarius not only march to a different drummer, they make up new music as they go along. They are 'mind oriented' individuals, whose thoughts never stop tick-tocking over. Because of their high focus on intellectual exploration, many inventors, eccentrics and highly original trailblazers are born under this sign. Their intense ability to live on many mental levels, holds both pain and pleasure for Aquarians. For example, in the American Hall of Fame there are more Aquarians than any other sign, yet statistics reveal that in mental institutions there are more Aquarians than any other sign too. Many extremes can surround this sign and these extremes can take them to both heaven and hell.But in everyday terms, most Aquarians are extremely humanitarian and often involved in social programs that assist others. They can also be objective in judgement, for they never let their emotions get in the way. Outgoing and amiable, Aquarians attract friends wherever they go and those whom Aquarians befriend have their unswerving loyalty.Aquarians are the zodiac's most mysterious and unusual people - and no two are anything alike. Those born under this sign - ruled by innovative and non-conformist Uranus - march to the beat of their own drum. They see life in a different way. Others quite frequently think their habits and ideas are eccentric or crazy in some way, but it is this uniqueness that makes them so special. The Aquarian mind is extremely quick and they never seem to stop thinking (it is interesting to note that many born under this sign suffer from insomnia.) Aquarians usually have strong political, environmental or social beliefs. But whether it is a relationship, career or cause - Aquarians are happiest when they have "something" to believe in and nurture.
Vibration: High frequency
Aquarian's Secret Desire: To be unique and original
If you were born on the first or last day of a Sun sign, in astrological terms you were born on a cusp. If that's the case, you will probably benefit from reading your own Sun sign and the Sun sign that ends or begins right before or after your date of birth. For example, if your birth date is 22 December, your Sun sign is Capricorn, but you probably have some Sagittarian traits as well.
By Athena Starwoman
Hmmm i find this quite true...though most aquarians are often mistaken as being too cold and cool towards people and matter unless it interests them...
Interested to know bout your sign?Go here:
♥ alexis at 2:47 PM
Sometimes, life isn't what we think it isThough we plan for things to happen, but do they really happen according to what we want?Answer: mostly, no...Life is unpredictableNothing comes right or the way we want it to beThough if one is lucky, you'll have most of the things coming your wayBut how many people in this world is lucky enough?Well not me...I don't particularly have everything coming my wayBut I tend to make it similarAnyways, today was a great day..Had fun with some guys and they really made my dayLong time did not have such fun...Somehow I'm more relaxed though there are more things going on in my mind this monthEverything seems fine to me..Hopefully this will last for awhile? Shall never hope for more...Ending my day with this:though i've wished that i could be with youbut to think again, i don't want..i'm enjoying the freedomthinking properly, hanging out with friends, fooling aroundrelaxing....but if we can be together...that'll be a lucky day to mebut i will not turn back anymore...unless you're willing to....-freedomoflife-
♥ alexis at 1:34 AM
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
the skies are dark
it's gonna rain
when was the last time i went under the rain?
when was the last time i danced under the rain?
it has been a long time
going under the rain does wonders
it drowns my sorrows
giving me the light of life
everything seem to end right then and there...
how i miss those feelings now
it was innocent and pure
full of happiness
full of memories...
♥ alexis at 6:09 PM
Monday, July 6, 2009
looking this picture, maybe it's my mood or something,i can feel the sorrow, the uncertainty...kiss the rain is a piano piece by one of my favourite pianist, Yirumathough most of his piano piece have those sorrowful feelings, at the same time, it gives a sense of calmness to peoplethe recommended titles are: When The Love Falls, Spring Time, Kiss the Rain and River Flows in Youat this moment in my life, i suddenly have no idea what's right,what's wrong, what i should do, and what i should not do...things are hectic...soo hectic that i've no idea what i should do firsti feel soo tired, so fed upi feel like leaving everything, go on a vacation or something to clear my mindunwanted thoughts keep coming to me though i've already tried my best to ignore iti feel so hopelessso disappointedthe disappointment is sooo great that somehow it makes me suffer very very muchTo the special someone:time seem to have drift us apartfate just doesn't seem to be by our side anymorei can feel it clearly nowwe might be very nearbut we can't see each otheror maybe, it's just me that saw you...suddenly, you're leaving me alone foreverhow am i going to go through this?why leave me just when i started falling in love with you?is there hope?i doubt soi've lost my faith....
-person in pain-
♥ alexis at 8:07 PM
Sunday, July 5, 2009
At the age of 18, I realize things aren't as easy as they seem to be...I hope not...Life is full of regrets yet it depends on how we take itLove for example,A person like me know nothing much about it but I've been through many situations..Some people might love a person soo much that he/she have to leave the person for goodIs this a good decision? Or will the person regret one day?I've left a person whom I loved very muchIt was bittersweet but if I have a chance to turn back time, I'll still leave himBecause I do not believe in everlasting or forever...If that person is meant to be with me, we'll be together one dayBut I taught myself not to fall in love anymore...It's not that I gave up...But I realized nothing can destroy a person but loveHowever, love can do wonders...I fell in love again and I was surprised at how I turned out to beI've never seen this side of me and if my friends did, they'll think that I've gone bonkers...But it ended very fast...A lesson to be learn...It wasn't anyone's fault...It just meant to end, though I couldn't find the reason whyBut if his decision can make him happier and a better person, why not?In our life, we have to sacrifice all the time..Whether it's for ourselves or others...Life is something that we should appreciate..Every meeting has a ending, whether it's good or badWhatever it is, life is about freedom, love and happiness..And I really hope I could achieve that one day...-free soul-
Everyday I have to expect the unexpected, full of surprises...
I do have my own goals and life, yet I'm always in full dilemma...
Do humans make choices for themselves or others?
Do we live for others or ourselves?
After going through many ups and downs, I realized that life is short...
Last year, my grandma passed away...
One month later, my granduncle passed away...
One is a person that I hope will see me grow up and be a better person
While the other is a person that I hope I'll be able to see him one day
Never would I realized that I'll only be able to see him in his funeral...
Are these regrets in life?
♥ alexis at 12:51 PM