Tuesday, July 26, 2011
i promised myself that things like yesterday will not happen again
sadly, it did
i shall keep this in mind and never bring it up again
i'm as screwed up as ever
as lost as ever
i feel like crap
and tired like mad
i need a damn break.
♥ alexis at 5:17 PM
i finally know what's the issue between us
it's the fact that you never once bother about me
you can only think about how much you hurt but not about how much i hurt
you expect me to be there for you when you need me
but when i need you, what happens?
you never bother.
this is how selfish your life is
you never bother
all you think is about yourself
i really don't know what the fuck you want
i'm bloody pissed
the reason why we break is to put an end to these hard feelings
but i can see now that nothing will change
and the end will not come
congratulations you win.
and i will not be bothered anymore.
♥ alexis at 12:40 AM
Sunday, July 17, 2011
never would i thought that i would be betrayed by you
you're the last person i expect so
maybe what they said is right
i should move on when it's time
and not to linger on...
i guess no matter how much i wanted to
i still can't put my stand anywhere
this shall be the end.
♥ alexis at 2:33 PM
some things just doesn't change no matter how much i want it to be
i'm still being a nuisance in people's life
and i hate being a nuisance in people's life
these days have been busy for me
maybe i'm running away from reality
but i love it when i'm busy
it makes me feel a lot better than sitting at home with wandering thoughts
recently, i had a talk with a new friend of mine
what he said is right
sometimes we're worth much more than we thought
but where do you exactly find someone whom you think is worthy of you?
in life, there are many pondering moments
all stemmed from misunderstandings and perceptions
we thought we know what's best
but everything will come crashing down once again when we least expect it to be
exam's this week
but i have very little intention to study
what happened in my life recently have left me in a daze
i'm still unsure of what i am, what i want, and what i have to do...
everything seems like a bad dream
♥ alexis at 1:22 PM
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
tonight, i felt empty again
i realised that i'm still hurt when i talk about the past
no matter how much i want to forget it, to let it go, i can't
if only i can run, i just wish i can run forever
cause i'm tired of coping
i'm tired of struggling
i'm tired of staying strong
i just want something to lean onto
no matter how much i lie to myself
no matter how much i tell myself
i'm still hurt
i'm still surrounded by darkness
i'm still lost...
♥ alexis at 11:38 PM
Saturday, July 9, 2011
these two days have been a hard day for me
coping with the leaving of my friends is hard
i thought i could cope well but....
yesterday was awesome, sad and tiring day
finally my 3 great friends are leaving
it's like a dream
the time spent with them was precious
yet, now,they are already in Australia
hopefully everything turns out well
i can hardly sleep last night
my mind, my thoughts, my dreams are all filled with them
wondering and worrying...
let's just hope that they are all well :)
P/s: i learnt that if there's something that does not belong to you, it's about time to let go cause it's just not worth it anymore...
♥ alexis at 5:57 PM
Thursday, July 7, 2011
one more day.
it's just one more day before everyone leaves
the thought of it hurts
as a friend, it hurts
what would their girlfriends think? feel?
it's too late to think of the past now
cause everything will come to a stop one day later
i really miss everyone
would everything change after 6 months, after 2 years?
who else can i call if i feel depressed?
who else can i call when i need someone to talk to?
i really hate tomorrow.
♥ alexis at 1:07 PM
Saturday, July 2, 2011
ugghh i'm feeling depressed
even gay couples can last longer than us =.=
this is really stupid :S
♥ alexis at 8:43 PM
this coming monday will be the long awaited day of my life
that day will be the day where i make a decision for the rest of my life
this sounds scary and yes, it is
i just never realised how soon it is
and without realising, it's only 2 days away
will this decision be the best one for me?
will i be able to do well after choosing it?
i hope i will
it's time to grow up and be mature
i'm no longer young anymore
there are many decisions that i have to make by myself right now
and none of it is assured
what saddens me most is i have to leave all my friends
i can't imagine life without them
it feels great to be with them
this is really scary >.<
let's just hope that i can do well :)
♥ alexis at 12:45 PM