Friday, February 5, 2010

the look on his eyes that night was of betrayal and hurt
for the first time, i talked to you
not just for a few seconds, but for the entire night
tho' my heart was hurting badly, surprisingly i managed to remain calm
for months i tried to heal my heart, hurting badly,
and you were the one who was always there for me
you told me to give you a chance
i told you i was not ready
slowly, i realized i have feelings for you
and due to the one sentence that you told me,
i gave you a chance
the chance where i wondered whether it's the right decision
i don't expect much from you, as i don't have the confidence in myself
people said, the first 3 months is always is the honeymoon period
but to me, it was anything but honeymoon
we would fight every week starting from around thursday to friday
up to the point that i can predict and look forward for fights between us
never did you realized that i would hurt badly at the end of the day
again, did i make the right decision?
for the one month we were apart, it was very peaceful for me
tho' i did miss you once in awhile, i decided that it was the best for us
i'm tired of fights
you would promise that you will change
but that only lasts for 2 weeks and then you're back to your old self
i decided to trust you again and again
yet i'm tired of being worried about you again and again everyday
it feels as if i'm taking care of a child
it makes me feel suffocated
the 'freedom' that i asked, wasn't just freedom alone
it's a mentally thing
at the end of the break period, i started to miss you more and more
and i started looking forward to seeing you
and all hell's break loose again
slowly we started to fight again
but this time, i decided not to take things seriously
my friends have noticed that my feelings for you have changed
it has become stronger...
but, up till today
i'm starting to wonder again
i'm tired, really tired
i feel really suffocated
there's a reason why i decided to break off with you earlier
i just couldn't take your attitude or our fights anymore
did i make the right choice?