Thursday, March 31, 2011

have you ever felt so low in your life?
have you ever lost all your confidence in your life?
people used to tell me that i shouldn't keep everything inside
but to share it in order to feel better

however, why, when i decided to share it, i felt as if people are saying im being a pessimist?
why, then people will say that i'm just being silly
then to ask me to forget it and concentrate on myself, my studies?
and worse, why do i feel bad saying out what i'm thinking?
i feel as if i've done a wrong thing
i just hope people won't take what i said wrongly
and i just hope people would once consider of my true feelings in matters
i just have a strong curiosity in life, in people
to me, curiosity makes me learn

but why, again, do i feel so low in my life?
at moments when i need someone to talk to, no one is there
and i can never have the chance to find for people to talk to
cause, the ones i usually tell, i fear if i talk more, they'll start turning away
yet those, that i think might understand, i fear they'll judge me

i've made up my mind, i do
but i'm trying hard to keep it to myself
i'm trying my best
i'm really trying

maybe what others said is right
i do care a lot about others, about what they'll think and react
i've never once care for myself
but i feel that if i can solve other's problems, i can solve my own too
do i really care too much about others?

my life is simple
yet somehow or other, my mind would wonder off
then things would involve others too
i never have the confidence to ignore others
i can't ignore others
it hurts to know others are hurting
but who's there to heal me when i'm hurt?

i've been slacking alot
my studies are suffering
from a teacher, i'm now a student to my student
it's depressing
yet, i'm still struggling hard to get out of all these
i'm trying....