first, i broke up with my bf

second, i decided to choose a major whereby no one i know is taking

third, i decided to get separated from my friends

fourth, i really have finally took the first step out of the norm

i realised, this is the first time i'm doing things that i really want for myself without caring that much anymore about other people and their views

maybe because i don't bother anymore, there's actually no 'feelings'

i don't have to worry about people misunderstanding me

i don't have to worry about people hating me

i don't have to worry about what people think of me

i don't have to worry about being judged by people

however, am i happy with all these decisions?

i don't know

i'm starting to lose my friends one by one

i'm starting to lose the person whom i love slowly

there might be regretted decisions

but for now, it's too early to judge the current decision

right now, i feel satisfied

but i'm not exactly happy yet

all these are new to me

it's a tough decision

what lays ahead in the future for me?

i don't know

to say the truth, i wish some things could be maintained or improved

but i realised, it's not up to me to improve it because the decision is still up to that particular individual

it's still the individual's future

if he cannot put me first in his priority list and learn to make things better,

i guess there's nothing else that i can do anymore

should i wait?and if i do, how long do i have to wait?

everything is a first step for me right now

and for the first time, there's no one to back me up anymore...

♥ alexis at 10:27 PM